From a package of Sainsbury’s “Woodland Eggs”:

“These free range eggs come from hens with access to established woodland or where trees have been planted to enrich the range and provide natural cover.  This encourages them to range more and live fuller, more active lives exploring and foraging beneath the trees.”

I’ve got nothing against chickens, but are we running an executive adventure camp or squeezing out some scramblers?  Here are the liner notes I fully expect to see on an egg carton if the trend continues:

“These free range eggs come from hens with access to an exclusive nature retreat with plenty of opportunities to take mind and body to the limit, from Bikram’s “hot” yoga to the latest craze, boxercise!  Now taking applications from chickens ready to take the next step towards true self-exploration in a seed-filled environment.”